just rambling today.

well today i got to spend time with my sister, leslie, and her kids. we had a great time together.
We went over stuff for the business and jsut chatted about different things.

Hubby is working today for 13 hours, all overtime, at the LV car show. So it was really nice to have my sis visit and spend time with her. I even got a party booked from her for tastefuly simple.

I still have school work to do but it was still nice to have company considering i have not seen her in quite some time. We talk onthe phone or ever the computer jsut about everyday bit not the same as actually seeing each other.

the kids had a blast together and of course my camera battery was dead so i could not take pictures. but i will next time we get together. they got to play outside or a bit even though it was a little chilly but hey they had fun.

i am hoping that over the summer we can get together more often hopefully on a weekly basis if possible. the kids would really like that i think, expecially the littler ones. I know i would.


well i guess i better get back to the school work since it is all due my midnight tomorrow.

Sorry it has been awhile sinc emy last post. I have been sick and so have the kids.

well we are better now except forme i have a head cold now but it is going away little by little.

I am in my last week of class for my marketing class. I fell behind with my work with being sick but got all caught up over the weekend, with hubby's help of course. I had to interview him for one of my papers.

On the home front things have been going good. Hubby and I are stil going strong with working things out. Haven;t had any set backs at all..

Things with my mom and zachary are good. I go over and see them almost everyday after i drop philip off at school while waiting to go back and get them at the end of the school day.

The Fair is approaching fairly fast and i have been working on things for that as well this past weekend. i went to leslie's house on sunday and we made our candles together. It was her birthday so i got spend time with her and it was nice not having any of my kids around for once.
Hubby kept them with him so we could get the candles done alot faster for the fair.

Byt he way for those of you know leslie, she is without a computer and internet for the moment so that is why you have not seem any post from her anywhere.

Well today i will be working on fair stuff and maybe some school stuff. I have a paper to do and a discussion board as well but they are both due no later than midnight CT on sunday the 9th.

i also have a tastefully simple party to do on the 8th. so i have to get ready for that as well. Which shouldn't be to bad since the host is making the food.

speaking of making food i have lots of baking to do next week and i have to make the bbq for the fair as well. Next week i am going to be swamped with fair stuff and school stuff becasue with school i start not 1 but TWO classes now that only last 5 weeks. so that meand double the amount of work for school. but at least i will have my mom helping me with the baking on friday and she will be helping out at the fair on saturday the 15th as well.

well that is about it for now i will try to get in here and post more before the fair gets here and after.

well where to begin. first of all matt and i are still working through are problems taking one day at a time. I still have alot of trust issues to work on wiht him and i know that will take a lot of time. i also have some insecurities i need to deall with me on my own. But on the bright side we have been spending more time together and more time talking.

We went to the shore over the weekend for a day trip and it was nice. We got to spend the day together as a family and it was really nice. We are going to go to a car show this weekend near us(in Northampton). That is on Sunday and on Saturday we are going to be going out with a group of friend for an adult birthday party.

I am starting to get use to the idea that he has friends that are girls. I can't deny him that anymore than he can deny me my guy friends that i am close to. even though they may not live near me and i do not talk to them all that often but i still have them. and yes there are times when are chats get on the sexual side but it is all joking around and he knows that because matt has been there when they have happened.

so i am trying not to be a hypocrit about him having and talking to girls as friends but it is very hard. i told him i am jealous and that i have never been jealous before with anyone. I told him exactly how i feel about him and how he makes me feel.

I toild him how my heart aches when he is not near me and my stomach does summersaults when he is near me. I have never felt like this before and i have never been this in love before either. I told him that each and every day when he walks out that door to go to work my heart aches for him til he gets back no matter how much i may talk to him on his cell phone or the computer at work. My heart is not whole again till he is home and near me.

Am I crazy for feeling this way and telling him all this? I am not sure but it is how i feel and i wanted him to know. I want him to understand why it hurt me so bad to find those phone calls and those conservations to Alex. Why i am so jealous i do not know. she lives like 600 miles away. maybe it is because i am insecure about my looks and my weight. i have a feeling that she is prettier than me and a lot less skinner than me. I think that is what bothers me the most.

Well thanks to all who have made it this far in my blog today. I just need to get this all out and this seemed like the best place for me to do it.

by the way the kida are doing great in school and jacob is getting big. I have been helping my mom out still and she seems to be gettng a better each day. she is still on oxygen but now she has the smaller potable tanks that she can take with her easier.