Saturday, August 23, 2008

i took zachary home last night at around 9pm. as i was droppign him off i saw my dad. i was a little nervous at first but he waved to me and he even came over to the car and was talking to me a bit. he was telling me that they knew zach was with me all day and they ( him and my mom) have no problem with it. They left it up to him ( zach).

So when i went to leave i stopped byt he roomthey are staying in to see my mom ( yes leslie, i know what you are thinking, (WHAT) ). Well it turned out that i did not get home myself till about 2 am. I had michael and philip with me as well. they were playing around in the room and then thye didn;t want to leave unless i brought zach back with me.

well my mom and i were talking and i found out she has COPD and the first time she ws in the hospital she ws in a coma for 8 days. dad and her said that if she would of waited one more day she would of died. ( now i know i always said i didn't care about how she was doing and that if she dropped in front of me saying she was dying and needed my help i would just keep walking)
well i do not feel that way now. actually i am not sure how i feel. somehow i guess you could say that a lot of the anger in no longer there. not sure why but it is not.

my mom has to be on oxygen 24/7 and she can't go to many places at all. she can;t even walk over the the resturant that is like right next door. ( the friendy's ---- leslie).

i found out my dad ended up having to take a $5 paycut where he works or be out of a job completely. didn't get the whole story there as to why. Just something about he had to have surgery on his hands and couldn;t go back to the same position he was at.

so when i left zach wanted to spend the night here and my mom told him no not tonight you know i can not be here alone and since we do not know if uncle brad will be back i need you to stay here. she told him he could spend the night tomorrow night ( meaning tonight)
so michael and philip are all excited about it and matt is even ok with it. so i will have my first overnight visist with him tonight.

i know this blog is long but i just need to get this out and off my chest. so thanks for reaing it all the way to the end . I will blog more later tonight and post any updates as to this post itself.

have a good day. i am going to go get my massage now.

3 comments:

Jody said...

I am sorry about your mom. I am glad you talked to her though and now you know the anger just isn't there. (((HUGS))) I can only imagine how hard that was. My prayers are with y :). So cool about Zach coming over to stay the night. I am so glad you are finally getting some time with him. That must be such a relief to you. I am sure he is happy too!!

Starchild079 said...

I'm speechless.

It's amazing how a simple act of kindness can change so much. I know that I held a lot of anger from Brent's abandonment, but when it came down to seeing him, and Connie getting to know him, just like you, I didn't have any anger...It was replaced with an empty, confused feeling.

I hope things are going to work out this time! Enjoy your time with your sons and dh!

amysalli said...

thanks girls.

i appriciate the comments and the paryers.